Loud by Drew Afualo and What It Means to Be a Feminist

Loud by Drew Afualo and What It Means to Be a Feminist

I grew (or am growing up) in a mainly liberal town in Massachusetts. You may know this, you may not, but Hingham, Massachusetts voted blue in the most recent election, and nearly everyone I know supports Harris, or is too afraid of the social isolation that would come with outwardly supporting Trump. Although Plymouth County voted red in 2016, we are an extremely liberal area, similar to the rest of Massachusetts. 

I go to a school with 90% white students, 8% asian students, 1% black, and 1% other, meaning that diversity is rarer than hair on a 70 year old man. Contrarily, we have many transgender and queer students, myself included, and although we may not be the majority, at least 15 of the 200-something people in my grade are queer, which feels larger than the rest of America. It is an interesting situation, because despite the large percentage of Roman Catholics (I know exactly 3 people of another religion), the gaping margin of white people, 150k+ median income, and the overall lack of diversity or individualism, the town is still extremely progressive, which I am abundantly grateful for.

Similar to a lot of other parts of Massachusetts, we are a bit of fake liberals due to this lack of diversity. We will be Ron Desantis' worst nightmare teaching critical race theory to sixteen year olds and then turn around and say that black people should not be able to vote if it means restoring relations post Civil-War (real anecdotes from my AP Lang and Honors US History classes). Safe to say, I have grown up in a lot of ideologically progressive spaces, yet as Elon Musk would word it, many of them fiscally conservative. 

In an attempt to read more of these ideologically progressive works, and ideally combat these toxic, hateful words of my peers (and occasionally myself, I never said I was perfect), I read Loud by Drew Afualo. I have followed Drew for years now. How many? I couldn't tell you, but trust me when I say I am acutely aware of her humor, her beliefs, and her personality. I knew what I was getting into, and yet I still enjoyed it. 

I did not, however, enjoy the first 60% as much as I enjoyed the last 40%. The first chunk of the book sought to "introduce" the reader to the inequalities of the patriarchy, which to many people it may have succeeded, but it did not for me. It felt repetitive, and as if it were common sense, and I understand why she felt the need to state such obvious facts like "working in sports is hard as a woman" or "people typically restrict women to the domestic sphere", but I thought it went on for a very long time. At points the book felt preachy about these common inequalities as well. Although Drew shed light on them with personal anecdotes and her takeaways, a large sum of the first part of the book did not feel very innovative, and I did not think it captured a lot of the more nuanced inequalities or the effects of them in our societies. 

Much of the first part of the book felt unnecessary and obvious, but what wasn't obvious was her family dynamic. The way that Afualo incorporates her culture into this story kept the first chunk strong for me. Although much of it felt repetitive and uninventive, she still managed to add originality to some aspects of the story. Explaining the mistreatment of women in the sports industry is not novel, but explaining how the importance of sports to a culture is undervalued by the gender of the person speaking is. Intersectionality in feminism is not a new concept, in fact it is likely that idea that has drawn out the fourth wave of feminism, but Afualo's distinctly Samoan ancestry refracts the typical "men are evil" point and adds complexity to her experiences. 

The second half of the book was my favorite. Do I remember much of it? Of course not it's been a week. But I remember that I liked it! I particularly liked the body neutrality sentiment. I have always been on the smaller side (god that sounds insufferable), but pressure not even from social media but my own friends and family members has demonized people who gain weight, and have glorified my body as ideal despite my doctor criticizing me for being very underweight. I struggled a lot with this when I was younger, as in 6th grade my doctor told me I had gained a lot of weight, and was on track to becoming a normal weight. I'm not sure what kind of eating-disorder based stigma invaded my mind that normal weight was irregular, but I entered a dark time where I would weigh myself multiple times a day and rarely eat meals in their entirety. Instead of understanding that my body may grow and change as I grow and change, toxic standards of how a body is "supposed to look" altered my mindset in a way I am still attempting to deconstruct. I really appreciated how she emphasized the insignificance of one's body, because I really do think that body neutrality is the only way to be comfortable with one's outward appearance. 

Afualo's decision to write and publish this book in 2024 also felt very important. In such a polarized world, where people can nearly never see eye to eye on issues like the ones mentioned in this book, I found it incredibly impactful that Afualo decided to share her story with her false positive pregnancy test. There is a whole lot of stigma surrounding abortion and what mothers decide to do with their bodies, that I appreciated that Afualo had the courage to share this very traumatizing experience in this book. I am a queer woman, so I am not very fond of pregnancy, but I really did feel connected to Afualo, as her description of every single detail that persuaded her to act the way she did resonated with me, and likely resonated with hundreds of women across the globe. With an impactful story such as this, it was also very interesting to see it so far at the end of the book, but it makes sense. Afualo did not want to open with such an emotionally dense story, but at the end of the book it truly hammered home to overarching argument that Afualo intended. 

This book was well worth the $30. In fact, it might be worth more, because although many of the chapters in this book felt obvious to me, a leftist girl from Massachusetts, it may not feel obvious to another woman, and if this book could help even one woman realize all of the aspects of her life that have been influenced and molded by the patriarchy, I think that was Drew Afualo's purpose. Furthermore, if anything I discussed sounds interesting to you, I highly recommend checking out this book. I too, don't read nonfiction very often, but this book might just persuade me to read it more. 

Are Some Books Really More Important Than Others? : A BookTok Analysis

 Are Some Books Really More Important Than Others? : A BookTok Analysis

Recently, primarily on TikTok, however conversations have emerged on YouTube, discourse surrounding the content of books has gained massive exposure, and arguments over what defines a "book" have been argued by many. Whether the author is Colleen Hoover or Jane Austen, readers debate what constitutes an "intellectual" read, or a "real" book, but why are we so focused on uplifting ourselves by tearing others down by their hobbies? 

Reading has been a privilege since the beginning of language. Countless groups of people have been dissuaded from education, and even today many groups struggle to learn. In a country riddled with falling literacy rates, specifically in minority groups, reading for pleasure has become rarer and rarer. The rise of BookTok has halted many Barnes and Noble bankruptcies, but the problem withstands that Americans are simply not reading like they used to. 

Despite what many may argue, privilege in reading is not determined by pretentiousness, but by discouragement, so even if one book may not be as culturally relevant, important, or intellectual, a story is a story, and hobbies like reading should not be qualified by how "good" one is at said hobby. 

"BookTok" books like Colleen Hoover or Sarah J. Maas have been criticized in recent years for being full of "smut", or sex scenes, reducing this act of reading to simple pornography. Although these stories may rely on sex scenes for plot, many of them do not. Grouping a category so large as BookTok books, or books mentioned on an entire platform, to one simple genre reduces the effort that authors have put into their stories through a mass generalization and a stereotype. Instead of celebrating the resurgence of recreational reading, people target others-primarily women-for reading "pornography", as if embracing one's sexuality should be criticized. Pornography is not a healthy addiction, but many of the women on BookTok are not addicted. Women who read "smutty" books are degraded, but men who watch pornography are not. The dissonance between how women interact with their sexuality and how men act with their sexuality explains how little progress we have truly made in terms of acceptance, because women have just as large of a sex drive as men but are not praised for engaging with it in the same way that men are. A woman reading Yours Truly is the same exact thing as a man buying Sophie Rain's OnlyFans, but one of them is "addicted to porn" because of the taboo societal standards surrounding women's sexual health. 

If someone said that they played tennis on the weekend, you likely would not ask them whether they are going to the olympics. If someone said that they draw in their free time, you likely would not expect their artwork to be hung in the MoMA. If someone said that they make YouTube videos, you likely would not expect them to own a ruby play button. Although extreme, all of these examples are reasons that a hobby can be just a hobby. A person does not have to be an expert in order to enjoy something, recreational hobbies exist. Reading does not need to be competitive. Just because a person reads, that does not mean that they need to have finished War and Peace or Moby Dick in order to form an opinion and enjoy something. Reading the classics is important to understanding the evolution of language, but it is not necessary to open a book. Many people forget that there is no levels in reading. It is entirely a personal activity with a personal system. Nobody needs to share what they read, why they read, how they read, or anything of the sort. Tiering others based off of how intellectual they are perceived due to the amount of Dostoyevsky they have read does not give a person a higher IQ, it just gives them less friends. Instead of focusing on other peoples business and stories, everyone should focus on themselves, and then maybe reading levels may increase. Discouraging others by convincing them that some books are not "worth" as much as others is an elitist, useless take that has been entirely exhausted in online spaces. 

Although reading a book is beneficial no matter the content, some books are objectively better than others. Many of these "BookTok" books do not have the longevity of a classic, and will not withstand the test of time like the Brontës. They do not comment on the human experience, they do not have philosophical dialogues, and they do not provide anything new or innovative to the industry. Objectively, they are poorly written and inconsequential. Despite these flaws, "BookTok" books are gateways into reading, and they can promote readers who are new to the space to explore more than a few tables at the bookstore. Classics are important to understanding the significance of a book, and the power a book can hold, but they are not essential. You cannot be forced to read Metamorphoses unless you want to. The Illiad will never be thrust upon you instead of Haunting Adeline. Although nobody can prevent you from reading what you would like, I would highly suggest reading intellectual books, but they are not required. Read what you would like, no matter what anybody tells you. 

Reading has been controversial since the beginning of time. The people who can read, what they read, etc. has tormented our society for centuries, but we have reached a point that it is not reasonable to limit people's access to books or to shame them from reading. While I will never say "why can't we all just sit down and have a cup of tea?", partially due to my third grade substitute's response to that question (terrorism and suicide bombing), I do not think it is acceptable to deter people from an activity that brings them joy solely because you consider it stupid. Problems with BookTok are certainly evident, but no book is more of a book than another. Let people read what they like, and never shame people for what brings them joy, because that is the true reason literacy rates are dropping. 

This message is provided by a bitch who finished The Yellow Wall-Paper, Macbeth, and A Winter's Promise all in one day. 

2024 Reading Recap

2024 has been one of those years that defined me as a person. I turned 16 this year, I learned how to drive, I finished my sophomore year of high school and started my junior year, I took the SAT, I took the SAT again (and did worse), and I learned everything about myself. Moreover, in 2024, I began with a reading goal of 25 books, which felt ambitious considering I had only read 20 in 2023. Despite my apprehension, I read a total of 76 books this year, which I am extremely proud of. In starting this blog, I feel that I can better articulate my feelings about whether or not I like a book, but more importantly I can elucidate why I feel that way. For my last hurrah of 2024 on this wonderful blog, I have decided to compile my top and bottom 10 of 2024. Thank you for joining me. 

TOP

10. Circe by Madeline Miller

This retelling of one of the world's oldest hated women's story compelled me in a way only Madeline Miller could. I read The Odyssey in 9th grade, and I came away from it with a distaste towards Odysseus, as I questioned why the story made him the hero when it was nobody but his fault that he cheated on his wife. Although it may have been my own 14-year-old radical feminist opinions, I always believed that Circe was not the villain, and Madeline Miller rewrote her story in a way that articulated my own suspicions about the existing story. 

9. To Live by Yu Hua

This story was not my favorite when I originally read it. I read it sophomore year in my World Literature class, and I under-appreciated it at the time. The rise of communist China told through the life of one man, and his trials and tribulations along the way, flooded me with a love of life untouched by any other piece of literature. 

8. I Hope This Doesn't Find You by Ann Liang

Young adult romances are my guilty pleasure. Typically, I don't rate these books very high. They are corny, shallow, and don't make any impact. The same cannot be said for this book. Sadie Wen had such relatable conflicts, ones I have related to immensely in the last few weeks. Junior year has hit me hard (and NOT soft), and Sadie Wen's development throughout this story has reminded me that not everything has to be perfect. Not only did I experience this inspiring message, I also got a giddy, wholesome, yearning romance. 

7. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Another genre that typically does not land on top, children's. This book reconnected my with my young imagination, and it reminded me that although I have been treated like an adult in school and other spaces, I am only a child. I haven't left my childhood yet, and this book reminded me of that. 

6. Bad Blood by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Is this the best written book of all time? Maybe not. It is a young adult thriller, and it did what I believed no young adult thriller could. This entire series captivated me from the first book and invented a bond between myself and the characters I thought I would never have. I think about the storylines in this book, the ending, the characters, the relationships, the cult systems, all of it every day of my life. The looks into trauma and loss were something I would never have expected, but I love this book in a way that I will be telling my children about. 

5. Galatea by Madeline Miller

57 pages. This book is 57 pages and it had that large of an impact. Once I heard someone say that writing a short story is so much more difficult than writing a novel, because you have to be precise and concise with the amount of detail you add, and Madeline Miller's Galatea has mastered giving the perfect amount of detail. I cried. 

4. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I won't write as much for this story as it is not groundbreaking to say that I enjoyed this book. I loved the characters, and it is my favorite book I have ever read through school. It is a timeless romance, and Jane Austen's clever writing will never be topped. Where is my Mr. Darcy? 

3. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

If you have ever met me, you know my feelings about this book. It is incredible that every single book Madeline Miller has ever written has appeared on this list, but it is not surprising because she is truly a voice of a generation. This book left me both sobbing and yearning. Greek myth retellings have become an oversaturated genre due to this book, and for good reason. The story of these two sad gay men has changed me, as I now know that you should never get mad and throw rocks. 

2. The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa

I had low expectations going into this book. It sounded extremely similar to 1984, and it did not strike me as particularly original. After a mere few chapters however, my opinions on this book vastly changed. The most talented thing a writer can do is not come up with an original topic, but it is to write about it in an original way, which is why I enjoyed this book far more than any other dystopian novel (1984 included). The way that Ogawa wrote about the human experience, the loss of autonomy, and ultimately the loss of self felt so important and so transcendent that I did not even notice the fact that the plot structure exactly mimicked 1984, and normally I am a huge stickler for plot originality. New, authentic writing will forever trump great ideas, because the toolkit of words that Ogawa possesses led me to immediately search for more of her books. 

1. The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang

To absolutely nobody's surprise, R.F. Kuang is at the top of the list. The talent that this 19 year old woman must have had to write a masterpiece such as this novel, I cannot begin to express. Every line left me shaking, crying, screaming, or wanting to crawl into my own hole. This book is so politically important because of its commentary on war, academics, and overall government, and Kuang's knowledge on these topics truly shines through. Her ability to criticize so many nuanced aspects of history in a new light through fiction exemplifies a talent that defines a great writer. I cannot think of another person in our generation with a talent for introspection and creativity quite like R.F. Kuang. 

BOTTOM (best to worst)

10. Maybe Meant to Be by K.L. Walther

This book was so forgettable, but I know that I loathed it for two reasons. First, the love interest was ginger and we were meant to pretend that that was perfectly okay. Second, the main character said that she "wished that she could be so open about her relationship" to a gay couple that had to travel states away in order to take one picture together, while her relationship was a straight one where the only reason they had not gone public was because she was too much of a wimp. That essentially sums up the excruciatingly tone-deaf narration of this book. Straight women please stop writing about queer men, you do not understand what it is like. 

9. Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams

I have definitely read worse than this book, however the fact that it has such positive reviews solidified it as the number 9 spot. The relationship was only drawn out across the book because the two characters wanted completely different things out of the relationship, which, in my opinion, is a simple sign to let it be and break up. Unfortunately neither of them got the hint and they continued to have sex, although we are not supposed to say that they are having sex because for some reason the entire internet is convinced that this book is completely young adult? The ending was a cheap way to close off the book as there is no universe in which this man decided that marriage actually might be okay after going through such a rough parental divorce. 

8. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

When I picked up this book I immediately knew that it would not be for me. This is the type of fantasy/dystopian book that only works if you are a straight teenage girl, and I only meet one of those criteria. I hated this book because of its non-ending, its weak world building, and its insufferable characters. Juliette and Adam are the primary receivers of this hatred, however Aaron never catches strays, and I would like that to change. Although he may be described as a conventionally attractive man, his decisions while Juliette is held captive can only be described as harassment. He does not back off, even when told no, and has such a large ego that he cannot comprehend that a woman may not be interested in him, which bothers me to the utmost degree. I absolutely despise that man. 

7. Keeping 13 by Chloe Walsh

I stopped the series after this book. I threw in the towel, and I refused to go through the torture of reading about these characters any longer. People love this series, but the beyond problematic content of this book and its predecessor has led me to draw a separate conclusion. This book was jam packed with smut. It was graphic, repeated, and unpleasant, considering the female main character was only sixteen and the male character was eighteen. Mind you, we met this female main character when she was fifteen. In my opinion, if your story must be filled with graphic sex scenes featuring underage characters, and you pride yourself, a grown woman, on your ability to write "sexy" teenage love stories inspired by you and your husband, pursue a career path that does not make me want to call the police. The lack of safety I felt reading these books as a sixteen year old, and the sexualization of children, makes me deeply wonder why this series is so beloved. Fuck you Chloe Walsh for writing Shannon as a child who is experiencing trauma and a sexy mature teenager at the same time. "Growth" and "storyline progression" are not reasons to write porn. Go back to Wattpad if you feel that way. 

6. The Wall by John Lanchester

The Wall was my summer reading book for AP Lang, and I am beyond disappointed that in such a high level English class I would read such a poorly-written book. It did not have any semblance of a decent ending, it was not interesting for one moment, and it had no commentary on our world (the premise of the entire dystopian genre, aside from this book apparently). My friends and I regularly joke about how atrocious this book is, as nobody can udder the words "it is cold" without someone completing "on the wall". 

5. Imagine Me by Tahereh Mafi

It pained me to only include two Shatter Me books on this list, however I included the most devious offenders. The ending of this story was so incredibly horrible I cannot even begin to describe it (but I will, so spoiler warning here). Why does Juliette hold the mindset that the only way to change the world is to kill the leaders, and then she believes that she, a seventeen year old traumatized child, has the wits to rule the world in a non-corrupt way despite the fourth book, where she has already been shown to be a horrible leader, and her incredibly unbalanced powers. There is no system where Juliette can rule the world and not fall into the dictatorship that had previously strangled the world, and what bothers me most is how there is no real explanation for that. They expect the reader to just accept this horrible, corrupt ending to the series with open arms, the same ending the third book had which possessed the author to create 3 new books to try to describe the effects but that only furthered the wretched world building and the author's inability to create an effective ending. Unfortunately I will be reading Watch Me only to prove that I was correct and Juliette's ruling strategy of just simply building houses (with what money? Which workers? What land?) would not work long term. 

4. Lightlark by Alex Aster

This was one of my first reads of 2024, so I do not remember all the details, however I do remember how much I hated it. There was no reason for the book to be based entirely off of men, despite my understanding of romantasy. The main character was a girl, yet I doubt that even she would pass the Bechdel test, much less the entire book. Furthermore, the two main male characters were both insufferable and far too old. Isla was 25, and yet I was supposed to believe that her ideal partners were both over the age of 500? In what world is that not predatory? Additionally, the author prides herself on how evenly balanced her love triangle was, but they did not set Oro up as a love interest until the last 100 pages, where the author promotes Grimshaw to a level we never see with Oro. 

3. Begin Again by Emma Lord

The main character in this book cheated. She did. I don't care if she never technically hooked up with him, but the fact that this book qualified as "slow burn" when the two characters were practically in each other's genitals by the way they were interacting despite this girl being in a committed relationship (so committed in fact that this man transferred to community college for her) they still were flirting like nobody's business. Now I am no God of relationships, but if my girlfriend was acting the way this main character (I don't even remember her name) was acting around this man, I would have broken up with her immediately, but since this was a romance book, that could not happen. The way that the author absolutely demolished the ex-boyfriend's character solely so that the main character could cheat in peace agitated me beyond belief. I absolutely abhorred every character in this "novel". 

2. What Happens After Midnight by K.L. Walther

Never in my life have I seen more Taylor Swift references. And I live in a suburban Massachusetts town with a 94% white population. There is nothing more unrealistic and annoying than a book claiming that the two teenagers were "dancing with their hands tied" and that is why their relationship did not work out. Leave that poor woman and her cats ALONE. I would be surprised if there was one song not mentioned in this book. I know many people love Taylor Swift references, but this is a "see for yourself" situation because I cannot describe how horribly this author threw in song titles for the purpose of doing so, hurting both the writing quality and plot. And, yet another book with teenage sex. It happens, but you shouldn't be romanticizing it, because it is illegal. 

1. Binding 13 by Chloe Walsh

Shocker, the other half to Keeping 13. If I have not already stated how much I detest these two books, I do. The purposeful yet unnecessary time period of 2005 solely so that the author could write women in a degrading, outdated manner, and writing men as sexist, homophobic, and ableist did not sit right with me. Not a single character in this book passed the Bechdel test. Additionally, I hated the way that characters like Bella were written, as they were meant to be a caricature of a "typical woman", sex obsessed, mean, and evil. The portrayal of Shannon and her friends as the outliers simply because they were kind reduces women to this caricature and sets feminism back about 20 years, to 2005. Just because the book was set in 2005 does not mean that you need to write women as if you are writing in 2005. This book came out in 2018. We can use critical thinking and digest that women are more important than their relationships, and women should not be in your story to just be mean and prostitute themselves. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.